SLiM: How Sweet it isn't!

Every person on the planet knows that sugar is dreadfully bad for you, and if you eat it, you will soon shrivel up, look something like a prune, and then die.

Oh, wait. I’m sorry. This does not apply to everyone. Not everyone is accursed by this horrible thing.

Diabetics will sometimes shrivel up like a prune if they do eat sugar, and sometimes will shrivel up if they don’t.

(I may have just made up the part about shriveling up, but that is the general impression that was made on me.)

Since no one is usually in the mood for shriveling up, we invented a new substitute for sugar, so supposedly we won’t actually shrivel up when we consume trivial amounts of sugar, simply trying to make our food edible. So, instead of using the good old G-d’s sweetener (the humble cane), we instead use a mixture of chemicals, trying (and succeeding) to replicate that taste, with all its attributes.

It’s Splenda®, of course! Or, perhaps a smaller but similar company, Sweet’n Low®!

But wait a minute. Since we tried so hard trying to replicate the flavor of sugar, we came up with something that’s almost as unhealthy as it (and therefore has the potential to turn you into a prune just as well). But if it is just as dangerous as sugar, why use it anyway?

There are 2 reasons, I think, that enter the average person’s mind. First of all, once we mankind have toiled so hard to create that substitute, why not revel in joy over our hard-earned sweetener?

Secondly, I think one of PETA’s sister corporations has gotten into people. People think that we must conserve the sugar, as it is cruel to chop a sugar cane.

However, I, SLiM, have a brilliant refutation for these claims, and it is a very short one.

If soluble saccharin isn’t going to turn you into a prune, what will? (Who wants to eat calcium silicate, anyway?)