SLiM: Since 1942, Indeed!

Revelations, revelations, everywhere. I was wondering about the way today’s youth are going down the drain, what with substance abuse, tattoos, alcohol, etc. It happened to be I looked a pickle jar about 30 seconds after I was thinking about this. This pickle jar was made by one of my favorite pickle companies, and that’s Vlasic®. This was a jar probably about one and a half feet tall, and 8 inches diameter. It sported a picture of the good ol’ Vlasic® Stork. He was wearing his hat, glasses and bow tie. And he was standing up, for probably the first time ever. But there was one major problem.

The Vlasic® Stork wasn’t wearing a shirt.

He wasn’t wearing pants, either.

There is an urban legend that Donald Duck was at one point banned from Finland because he didn’t wear pants. I thought it was a ridiculous claim, until I realized something. If you expect someone to wear pants, it is a shock if he isn’t.

Such is the case of the Vlasic® Stork. For all the many years that the stork has reined supreme over the pickle world, we saw him as a civilized stork, with hat, bow tie and glasses. We assumed he was a refined stork, who wore clothes as well.

I urge you all to write to Vlasic®, and tell them to change their mascot to a dignified, say, sparrow who wears pants. If that doesn’t work, a nationwide boycott will be necessary.

I hope the boycott doesn’t last too long, though. I’m sure going to miss my pickles.

SLiM: A Tribute to our Inspiration

As you can see in this post, my favorite blog and inspiration for blogging is officially over-the-hill today.

It is one year old. (Oh, come on, that’s a good percentage of my age.) Iceberg Carwash is a G.O.B. (Grand Old Blog [FBB and MBB, is GOB okay?]), and it officially deserves to be recognized. It was awarded the Blog De Ouro on July 13^th, 2009, and it deserves to be recognized again. If you have been reading it till now, good, and keep it up. If not, they say it’s never too late to start, but I would recommend the following all-time favorites of mine:

· The Demise of Astroland

· Hangin' with Chad

· We Find the Defendant....Stupid, On All Counts

· As the Big Gulp Turns

· Snowflakes and Raindrops

· A Pile of Summer Memories

· The Candy Man Can...For 50% Off

Anyway, all the posts are worth reading. I don’t think you have the time or patience to do that, so I gave you that selection of fine material to choose from.

Whatever you choose, I want to personally wish a happy birthday to the Best blog on the block, Iceberg Carwash.

SLiM: Truth in Advertising

There had been a craze in camp of these little brown balls that you can throw down to make an “exploding spark!” supposedly. What it actually does is make a small pop, with no (visible) spark.

The only use of these small balls is to annoy people, as far as this blogger knows. It also happens to be that these balls are quite a price for what they are. Unless you want to pay 15¢ to annoy people for about 0.0005 seconds, I really don’t think these balls are worth it.

The exception would be if you really are dying to bother someone.

The thing is, when you buy your first package of these balls, you assume there will be an “exploding spark!” like it says on the package.

If only these advertising people would be a little more truthful, humanity would be less annoyed on the whole. Also, if these advertising people began to tell the truth, maybe some more (smart) people would buy their product. Let me explain. I once saw this commercial where a company is trying to market liquid called Orange Glow. A dude walks onto the screen and says, “Do you ever want to get rid of grease or mud, but you aren’t able to?” He takes out a bottle of stuff which works very well in our house and points to a cabinet with a lot of grease on it and says “These cleaners can’t cut the grease very well.” He puts about one billionth of an ounce of the stuff on his hand, and rubs the cabinet very lightly for one second and says “See?” even though some of the grease has actually been rubbed off. “But Orange Glow,” he says, picking up a bottle of it and a towel, “is different.” He sprays the towel for 10 seconds straight and rubs it on the cabinet. “See?” he says, rubbing the cabinet madly for 15 seconds or so. “It cuts the grease!” The thing is, we tried it out once. It doesn’t even work as well as it shows on the commercial. We went back to using “these cleaners.”

These advertising people are just another group of people that make our lives crazy.